Sister Love/Sister Pain

Love is not red—deceiving indeed, circumstances in place—solid as a rock—love can slip in and dismantle a complete heart

When love happens unpredictably, it throws mind control off
Can’t do nothing but flip your mind a thousand times trying to re-invent the fairy tale scene that seemed like a dream
He entered my heart when it was in lockdown and I didn’t even know
I have no mind control—emotionally—I’m a wreck

I can’t catch a thought
Heart, dear heart, please release me

How did I fall in love
I thought I was in love with my husband—I knowI know
I’m married and lonely and that’s a hard thing to be
Instead of looking at me he’s looking at pornography

I can’t compete
That is out of my league
I’m a woman—and I’m going to continue to be

I got involved with another man—a friend who listens to me—he is deep—concerned
I’m in a war—an emotional war—I didn’t realize the need he filled—I’m in love with another’s man

Now I can understand what I never could before those songs about married people creeping
struggling with love: Me and Mrs. Jones, Secret Lovers, If Only For One Night
songs such as those
doesn’t make it right

“If you can’t keep your man, I can,”the new love says on demand
I can’t say that; it just happened; I can’t explain it
I wasn’t looking for love especially forbidden love

I have morals—what’s up with me—I’m recognizing other parts of me that aren’t very sweet and the problem is: Do I care?

Thoughts streaming through my mind
Is the issue really about a Queen who can’t keep her husband or her man or is it about a sister who just thinks she can’t

I’m a thinker—a contemplator
I can’t elevate myself above his wife as being better than she, his Queen
Sister Love/Sister Pain is killing me

I wish love were red then I could change the color and feel no pain
a heart full of love overflows with emotions—stomach hurts—can’t eat
can’t sleep—weight falling off because I want to be with him

Love is not red mind inundated with him if I see him I will get well
I saw his feelings for me in his eyes; he stared at me too long if I were a magnet and he a
piece of steel l’d be in his bed disrespecting myself and his wife that’s not what I want in my life—I love him—I truly do
This is not cool; I’m not a fool
I have examined the stained picture I see people acting emotionally violating vows made
before God: “If she can’t keep her man, I can”
Everything done in the dark will be revealed and how will the Sister he belongs to feel

I have a man and a license to make love to him, but when love crept in my heart my battle was to stay sane not have sex with no feelings there was nothing for me to gain

Along the road of life I fell in love twice
I love my Sister’s man
My heart aches—anguish—pure blue
Can’t obey and cause her pain

He belongs to another; She will not pain because of foolishness
I know the pain of women who do not think
Sister he is yours I will move on

I will not be intimate with him as that will cause pain
Love is not red: it is blue and rides a roller coaster of emotions

I am no better than you, Sister, as you are his Queen
and much more important than me
I can see
It’s not about a color scheme or age difference
A woman is a woman with a heart that can bleed

I just want something exciting and new and that will end if I hurt you
Life happens; the love is stained with too many faces this is no game
I can’t play—I love a man—he loves me too but sister love stands above

My sister will not shed one tear or lose weight or sleep because I’m in love with her man and can’t control myself

He will be with me today—if I want it that way—love has nothing to do with hurting you
The pain will be all mine I will be used and your husband, your man will return to you and despise me

Now I know the makings of affairs; things ain’t right at home husbands and wives lose sight mundane love lives nothing exotic anymore so they find what they need it doesn’t make it right but, hey, stop telling your wife to go fly a kite

Women boast about sleeping with another’s husband–if he were your husband would
you boast or cry and lose weight in time:
I saw his feelings for me in his eyes: he stared at me too long
If I were a magnet and he a piece of steel l’d be in his bed disrespecting myself and his wife that’s not what I want in my life—I love him—I truly do
This is not cool—I’m not a fool
This is a fight I don’t want to win: I just can’t do it though I want to
I feel like I’m being driven; I’ve been on the other side—I cried and I cried
Sister love conquers devastating affairs: I’m not his wife my love must die

Although I am suffering my Sister is living how am I going to build happiness on some one else’s pain: “if she can’t keep her man, I can.” evaluating myself over his queen
What makes me think I am better than she?

Real love is not about taking
a Sister’s man—even if I can what can he do without me I have nothing his wife doesn’t have. I’ll live in her shoes tomorrow “if she can’t keep her man I can.”

My home girl called me a fool—really—and she’s cool
Well let’s take a look at her; she and Mr. Jones

Bi-polar you riding too high living a life based on lies “if she can’t keep her man, you can.” ‘til you see the light you fell from your pony when he left you for his wife
your mind—psychotic—your stomach in knots—can’t sleep—eat
Your weights falling off can’t accept the fact that you were used and thoroughly confused

Bi-polar you thought you could build happiness on someone else’s heartache
Where are your friends? You are caught in your own web so sleep in your bed
You didn’t think about your Sister: you thought about you—the pain is great—overwhelming—too deep—steep

He crept and you wept, “if she can’t keep her man, you can.”
Your tormented mind told you lies; I just can’t
The next time tainted love knocks on your heart’s door
stop, drop, and roll smother the fire before it consumes you

Tainted love is nothing sweet; it’s not a treat send that man home
where he belongs before you are used like a junk-yard dog
the choice is yours: but I’m stupid

Cupid’s so-called arrows often strike the living dead: I am thrilled just to know
that I can love and love deeply: being married and lonely is dangerous
Husbands wake up; Wives, wake up

Sister Love/Sister Pain is killing Me
No affairs
Husbands who ignore
Curb gear for the garbage man

Vivian Dixon Sober©2003
All Rights Reserved
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