Snapped

Transitory depression many know
Life is hard on human souls
we want things to go our way
and too many bangs
when we’re not in a gang
makes it hard to maintain

Depression is gray, lethargic
I’m tired people say
they don’t recognize they have no zest for life
functional depressants in disguise
life is hard but we must continue
the bumps never stop

I feel like I’ve been hit in the head with a rock
I’m bleeding
but people keep tossing stones at my open wound

it can’t heal

Do you understand?

I think depression beat me
I’m in a black hole
it seems the sun is shining
on iron stairs attached
to the wall across from me

the sun continues to shine on
those stairs but I can’t seem to move over there

Therefore, I stare

I think I snapped
when the phone rang
I stare and continue in prayer

God is good
He understands
I finally have the energy to get to the stairs

I grip the iron rod and take
one step at a time
I climb out of what I thought
was a black hole
and, in reality, I only opened
my bedroom door 

it seems I snapped out of life
as though I were a computer running
in safe mode

I see my family looking at me
but, yet, they don’t speak
I now know life’s absolutes

I must take care of me
who helped me get out of the black hole?

so many snap and don’t even know

depression hit me hard
snapped without a cap
my home became a black hole

do you hear me?

break, crack, and shatter in the blink of an eye
and that is no lie

I see my family looking at me
but, yet, they don’t speak

I am aware of life’s absolutes
I will take care of me, me, me

I heard a lot in that black hole
and don’t plan on taking the scenic
route on the same road

I am facing a brand new me
I look the same to others
but not to me

While in the hole I learn what love is
I am not the same
I have changed

I snapped out of life and then back in
I was gone four years but it wasn’t wasted time
a long journey to take without a friend

but I found one
and I think we are the only two
who know I am not the same
we are in tune

how can life be the same
I look the same but have changed 
looking around and feeling my spirit
I have definitely changed
my life is not gray

I am full of hope
so many snap and don’t even know
depression hit me hard
snapped without a cap
my home became a black hole

do you hear me?

break, crack, and shatter in the blink of an eye
and that is no lie 

I had an emotional breakdown
looking back

MEN SNAP TOO BUT MUST BE STRONG AMIDST IT ALL

So many snap and don’t even know

I’ll be fine
I’ve faced the truth
I snapped without a cap
just let go
got tired of holding on 

Life is hard on human souls
I’m very sensitive and this I know
I heard a lot in that black hole
and don’t plan on taking the scenic
route on the same road

it’s a privilege to be in my company
and I in yours
but nobody knows it but me

Vivian Dixon Sober© September 2006
All Rights Reserved

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