Death is what it is— some folks say. We all have to die one day. In reality, those words flow from the mouths of folks browsing through the obituaries but know not one. The people they belong to are in awful pain. They’re not reading the obituary today.
Your loved one died. You’re in pain. Do you have children? Something’s wrong. Emotions in a flavor you’ve never tasted. Nevermind the obituaries today or any other day. Just can’t stand seeing your loved one’s picture in that place. Do you have children? What are you going to do? What are you going to say? How are you going to help them accept this? Children do not read obituaries. They read the comics. They know their love isn’t coming home.
Death is so unnatural, but it can be a friend—especially if it stopped suffering and pain from running through the loved one’s veins like a running river without cease. Now that one is free, but what about the living left behind?
The obituary is no longer a browse through. It’s too painful for you. Do you have children? Are you in too much pain to talk to them? Children are beating hearts. Now what will they do? Rely on you, but you’re grieving too hard. What will the children do?
Form an opinion of you and all the players in the scene—even music that used to be melodic is now grating on the ears and weighty on the heart. You do not understand because you didn’t consider the children’s hearts—inundated with pain—day after day.
Children feel pain. They are not ready for the players. This is not a game. You didn’t allow them to feel their pain. You did absurd things because you, the adult, were in pain. What makes your pain greater than theirs? Fear.
Time has passed. The children are now adults. They are not walking to your flow. Doing things you don’t understand. A child has a way of turning the channel on pain. The pain is not gone—just swept under the carpet.
Delayed pain shows its ugly face. They can’t escape. They now face the reality of losing their beloved in death. How many mistakes? How many? Selling a child short because you are grieving is like burying the beloved with a blank tombstone. Hey, the person did live, had a name, a social security card. And you ask yourself why the childgrowns are acting odd.
Please take this into consideration when you look at them today.
Today is: Forgive your children’s day.
Vivian Dixon Sober©
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