I went down to the funeral parlor to make my final arrangements. Tried out many caskets just for the feel. I finally chose the most comfortable and the most expensive. Man that thang felt better than my bed. It was of high quality, I could tell. My final resting place feels good. No one is living forever. Not on this side—not on this side.
When death comes for me, I’m sure it will be my friend. Hard to wrap my mind around this concept. You know death. Let me get this over with. Only have to do it once. It’s just necessary. A poor excuse for a human purposely fails in this just to burden others, but, then again, that could be my gift. My kids will carry out my wishes but they are greedy. They never treated me right. Just had an epiphany. I ain’t leaving nothin’ to them. I’ll leave everything to that nice girl who talks to me on the bus everyday. Treats me like a human being.
Enough! My mind is really wandering. First things first, let’s see. I must look good ‘cause that’s how I roll. I walk into my closet and select my favorite dress. It’s sharp. This dress is popping. I’ll be the bomb in my floral silk print. It doesn’t fit me cause I’m too fat. I’ll give the undertaker permission to do whatever it takes to make it fit. It’s my favorite dress. Everyone knows I love flowers but I will not have them surrounding me. I’ll look dead. Wasting money on flowers. What? So I can look dead. That is exactly what flowers do. Enough, my mind is wandering. I must stay focused.
Now, for my shoes. I have a huge shoe collection. I try on shoes, shoes, and more shoes. Finally! Aw, I’ll choose these. I love these white ones. Wait, wait, when I wear them to long they be killing my feet.
Vivian Dixon Sober
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